Groveton’s Virginia

HB53: The Devil Made Me Do It! March 23, 2010

Overview: The General Assembly 2010 legislative session has ended.  Our state delegates and Senators have gone back to their homes.  Very little was accomplished.  Worse yet, this session demonstrated some of the worst habits of the part-time General Assembly.  Four bills which came up during the 2010 session illustrate the sad state of affairs in the General Assembly.  This article is about one of those four bill – HB53 – Human tracking devices; unlawful use thereof by insurer or employer.

Redi-Mix Geniuses: Virginia’s General Assembly is composed of 140 part-time legislators.  The General Assembly meets in Richmond for 61 days and then calls it a year (barring any special sessions called by the governor).  During that brief period the General Assembly manages a $35B per year budget, debates social legislation, tries to pass the enabling legislation needed to micro-manage Virginia’s localities under Dillon’s Rule and generally has a high old-time hob knobbing and cavorting down in River City.  It’s very debatable whether the 140 smartest men and women in the United States could accomplish in 61 days what the GA needs to accomplish.  It’s not debateable at all that the 140 men and women who are, in actuality, our legislators cannot effectively accomplish their mission within the current structure.  A deadly combination of hubris, partisan politics, foolishness and a lack of adequate preparation killed any chance for an effective 2010 legislative session.  HB53 is an example of foolishness.

The four headless horsemen of the political apocalypse.  Terrifying apparitions come in many forms.  From brain – eating zombies to Madonna without makeup, Hollywood has found a way to frighten us right down to the core.  Yet Hollywood presents imaginary ghouls.  Richmond creates real ones.  Four bills from the 2010 session reveal the deep rot in the General Assembly.  From bizarre religious innuendo to institutionalized bigotry these bills exemplify what’s wrong in Virginia’s governance process.  This is the story of one of these bills.

You want to put that where?    HB53: Human tracking devices; unlawful use thereof by insurer or employer.  The basic concept of this bill was to prevent employers from forcing employees to implant microchips called Radio Frequency IDentification (RFID) chips in their bodies.  RFID chips come in several forms but they are all meant to reflect pre-programmed information to an RFID antenna when the chip is close to the antenna.  A common use for RFID is to automatically pay tolls on toll roads.  The chip is in a plastic case you normally affix to your windshield.  When you car gets to an automated tool booth the booth reads the reflected serial number from the chip in you car, looks up you account in a database, makes sure you have money in the account and deducts the toll from your account.  It all happens in the wink of an eye and you are on your way without waiting for a toll taker or coin slot to take your money. 

RFID chips are sometimes implanted into animals in order to identify lost and stray beasties.  These same chips could be implanted into humans in order to store medical information which could be retrieved by emergency personnel if someone were unconscious or, perhaps, had just had too much Pabst Blue Ribbon beer to make any sense.  There has been some serious talk about implanting the chips in Alzheimer’s patients in case they get lost.

Can we call this bill HB666?  HB53 might make some limited sense to a conspiracy theorist who believes that unscrupulous employers would make their employees implant microchips.  Nobody seems quite sure why an employer would do this and nobody can name an employer who has mandated the implantation of RFID chips but (I guess) you can never be too careful.  Unfortunately, the story does not stop here.  The conspiracy theory behind this bill went well beyond employers.  The Delegate who submitted this bill is Del. Mark Cole (R – Fauquier).  He explained why Virginia needs this legislation in an interview with the Washington Post – “My understanding — I’m not a theologian — but there’s a prophecy in the Bible that says you’ll have to receive a mark, or you can neither buy nor sell things in end times,” Cole said, “Some people think these computer chips might be that mark.”. Uh, oh, spaghetti-O!

Transportation can wait.  The General Assembly had a packed 61 day agenda.  A new governor, an attorney general who wants his 15 minutes of fame, a broken budget, high unemployment, a transportation crisis.  What get the GA’s attention?  A bill to prvent employers from branding employees with marks of the devil masquerading as microchips.  And you wonder why I want Dillon’s Rule dilluted so Virginia’s localities can make more of their own decisions.  Jeesh….